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SUSKUNUM
Gönderme zamanı: 02/11/2010 11:03:30



Suskunum…

Tüm acım tüm isyanım tüm feryadım
tek bi kelimeye nasılda sığabiliyor hayret!


Canım yanıyor parça parça bölünüyor içimdeki kök hücrelerim

Kalbim saklı haznesinden kurtuluyor da atıyor kendini bedenimin boşluğuna

İstila var herkes bi parça kopartma derdinde
Geriye kalanlar hurdacının eskicinin bile almayacağı kadar virane enkaz
olacak biliyorum…

Suskunum hiç bir şey yapamıyorum

Elinden oyuncağı alınırken karşı koymaya çalışan bi çocuk edasından
kurtulalı çok oldu
Tepindim ağlamaktan haykırmaktan yerle bir ettim ortalığı da
Ne oldu…
Hiç bir şeyim geri verilmedi bana benim olan ne varsa…

Ağlamak çığlık atmak bağırmak tepinmek nafile
hiçbir işe de yaramıyor
Giden zaten aklına gitmeyi koymuşsa kimse o gideni geri döndüremiyor
Yada onun
Senin oyuncağın olması onu dünyalar kadar çok sevmen bu mahkemelerde hafifletici sebep yerine bile geçmiyor…

Bu yüzden suskunum aklı başında bi suskunluk aklı firarda bir yürek için çok da akıllıca sayılabilir…
Belklide en büyük isyanım bu belklide tek çıkar yolum
Neden bilmem ama içime kapandım dışarıda bi dünya yıktım içimde bi dünya kurdum
Evimin kapısına da yazdım

Bunalıma gittim biraz zor dönerim…
Herkesi uzaklaştırıyorum kendimden beni seven herkesi
sevmeyen istemeyen her kim varsa ben istemesem de zaten beni terk etti…

Mutlu bir gelecek kurma hayallerim vardı

bir gecede kurulan bir gecede yıkılırmış

Peki o zaman benim dünyam neden her gece
tekrar tekrar yıkılıyor..
Zorlamı ittim ben kendimi bu yola
Zorlamı aklım almıyor dışardan gördüğüm ben içimdeki beni karşılamıyor
yada olmayı hayallettiğim düşlediğim beni
çok gerilerde bıraktım
Tek çıkar yol diye bişey kalmadı
Çıkar yol benim çıkmaz sokaklarımda geri dönüş umudumdu
Geriye dönemiyorum
İleriye gidemiyorum

Kaldım bu soğuk duvarlarda ellerim başımın arasında
Sesim çıkmıyor ağlamak nafile dedim ya
Suskunluk en büyük ceza hem bana hem etrafıma…
Ders almayı bilseydim yaşadıklarım benim kulaklarıma küpe olabilseydi yada ben bu başı taşlara vursaydım da şu yaptığım hataları yapmasaydım
Kader mi
Kısmet mi
Yaşanması gerekli mi
????

Eğer öyleyse amenna
Ama canım yanıyor anla bi yol lazım bana yada yada
Annem kızmasın ama
Bıçak getirin makas getirin kesin beni bu hayattan. Ne bu hayata ne bu bedenene bana ne sana ne yaşadıklarıma daha fazla dayanamaz bu yüreğim…

Aklım firari Ruhum kaçak



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Görüntülenen 1 - 3 arasi, toplam 3 Yorum mevcut

Gönderen: magen1234
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Gönderen: magen1234
04/07/2014 09:12:47
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Gönderen: magen1234
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