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SAHİBİNİ ARATAN MEKTUPLAR 20.MEKTUP
Gönderme zamanı: 02/22/2009 16:46:28

NERDESİN? GÜNLER VARKİ BENİ ARAMADIN, YAZMADIN.SENDEN GELECEK BİR MEKTUBU BEKLEDİM BOŞUNA.ÖNCELERİ İÇİM UMUTLA DOLU POSTACININ KAPIMI ÇALMASINI BEKLEDİM.SATIRLARINLA AYDINLANMASINI BEKLEDİM BU KARANLIĞIN.SAATLER SAATLERİ,GÜNLER GÜNLERİ KOVALADI.GİT GİDE BÜYÜDÜ VERDİĞİN YANLIZLIK, YÜREĞİM KAHIRLA DOLDU. ÜMİT ETMENİN MUTLU HEYECANLARI, YERİNİ TARİFSİZ BİR HÜZNE BIRAKTI. KOCAMAN KALABALIK BİR ŞEHİRDE YAPAYALNIZ KALDIM İŞTE.

NERDESİN? BENİ UNUTTUN DİYEMEYECEĞİM, UNUTMADIĞINI BİLİYORUM.AMA DÜŞÜNKİ, BENDEN UZAKLAŞTIĞIN HER KİLOMETRE, SANA OLAN SEVGİMİ BİR KAT DAHA ARTTIRDI.SENDEN BAŞKA BİRŞEY DÜŞÜNEMEZ OLDUM.GERİ DÖNDÜĞÜN ZAMAN, EMİNİM ŞAŞIRACAKSIN BÖYLESİNE MESAFELERLE BÜYÜYEN, ZAMANLA DERİNLEŞEN BİR AŞKIN KARŞISINDA OLMAK KİMBİLİR NE KADAR DEĞİŞTİRİCEK SENİ...YÜZÜNDE PEMBELERİN EN GÜZELİ, GÖZLERİNDE IŞIKLARIN EN PARLAĞI İLE SEVİLMENİN, ÇOK ÇOK SEVİLMENİN HAZZINI YUDUM YUDUM İÇECEKSİN.SEVİLEN BİR KADININ MUTLULUĞUNU SEYREDECEĞİM SENDE.SEVDİĞİM KADININ ÖLÜMSÜZLÜĞÜNÜ YAŞAYACAĞIM.

NERDESİN? DÜN EVİNİN ÖNÜNDEN GEÇTİM. PERDELERİN KAPALIYDI, DOLU DOLUYDU GÖZLERİ PENCERELERİN.KAPIN SANKİ BİR DAHA HİÇ AÇILMAYACAK GİBİ KAPANMIŞTI SOKAĞIN YÜZÜNE.KİMBİLİR ODALAR, EŞYALAR NE HALDEYDİ SENSİZ? HER DAKİKA AYAKLARININ GÜZELLİĞİYLE MEST OLAN HALILAR NE YAPIYORDU ŞİMDİ? YA KOKUNA VE SICAKLIĞINA ALIŞMIŞ YATAĞIN NE HALDEYDİ? BAKTIM SEN YOKTUN, DUVARLAR KARARMIŞTI.SOKAĞINDAN YAŞAYAN BİR ÖLÜ GİBİ GEÇTİM VE BİR HÜZÜN ANITI HALİNDE BIRAKTIM EVİNİ.

NERDESİN? MEĞER NE DOLDURULMAZ DERİNLİKMİŞ YOKLUĞUN. KADERDE BU SENSİZLİKTE VARMIŞ. HER İNSANIN YÜZÜNDE SANA BENZER BİRŞEY ARAMAKTA VARMIŞ. SESİNİ DUYMAK VARMIŞ ŞARKILARDA, BÜTÜN KİTAPLARDA SENİ OKUMAK VARMIŞ. MEĞER NE DAYANILMAZ ŞEYMİŞ YOKLUĞUN, KAĞITLARA SENİ YAZMAK VARMIŞ,RENK RENK DÜŞÜNMEK VARMIŞ SENİ, ÇİÇEK ÇİÇEK KOKLAMAK VARMIŞ.ARTIK HİÇ YAZMASANDA OLUR, HİÇ GELMESENDE...MEĞER NE TÜRLÜ BİR ÖLÜMMÜŞ YOKLUĞUN?

BİR DAHA ."NERDESİN?."DEMİYECEĞİM. BENDESİN ARTIK.DUDAKLARIMIN DEĞDİĞİ KADEHLERDESİN.SERİN YAĞMUR  GETİREN BULUTLARDASIN.KAH DENİZLERDESİN,KAH RÜZGARLARDASIN.UZAKTASIN, AMA YİNE BU ŞEHİRDESİN...

GİTTİĞİNE İNANMIYORUM. GEL DEMİYCEĞİM...

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